I believe motherhood is a calling from God, and like
any other calling, we are entitled to His guidance and revelation to fulfill
God’s plan through our calling.
When I was younger, I always dreamed of being a mother.
I looked at my grandmother and mother and always thought that being a mom was
the easiest and happiest job a woman could ever have. I would see them cooking,
cleaning, and doing laundry, and I would think to myself: “They have a cool job”.
I would play with my dolls and think highly of my parenting skills. Like my mom and grandma, I always knew what
to say, what to do and even what to cook. There was no question about it, being
a mom was awesome!
My mom always knew what to say to me in moments of
trial. If she didn’t, she would say nothing at first, and then come back with
clear advice and wisdom to share. Every time I asked her how she knew what to
say, or how did she know I was feeling sad or in trouble, she would answer: a
mother’s intuition. This concept fascinated me and I always desired to experience
it for myself.
When my time arrived, it came with a very shocking
awakening. I had taken care of children for several years, and my training with
those children made me think I was ready to be a mom. It was the complete
opposite. Those first days of motherhood were overwhelming and exhausting.
Though I had previously been able to calm a crying baby, it seemed like my own
baby was broken because none of my techniques worked on him. I was desperately
looking for the “mother’s intuition” my mom and grandma kept talking about, but
with no luck. I had no idea what I was doing.
I was feeling inadequate and defeated. At times, I even wondered if I
was born to be mom.
In my desperate search for my access to “mother’s
intuition”, I knelt down and prayed to Heavenly Father. For some reason, it
never occurred to me to ask Him for guidance in my new experience as a mom. Perhaps
I thought that Heavenly Father only answered my prayers when it came to my
spirituality but not the daily tasks of soothing a crying baby. Or perhaps I
was embarrassed that I was not able to be the mom He wanted me to be to His
little spirit. Whichever reasons crossed my mind, I am glad I decided to let go
of them and humbly asked for help. “Heavenly Father” I asked, “why is my child crying?
Help me, please!” I was in tears, hoping
with all my heart that He would miraculously sooth my baby. What came after
that plea will forever stay with me. A simple, but very clear instruction came
to my mind: “undress him.” I hurried up, undressed my baby and wrapped him in
the softest blanket I could find. My baby, who had been crying non-stop for
hours and had only been able to sleep in 45-minute increments since his birth,
quieted down. After feeding him, he astonishingly slept for 2 whole hours.
I knew I had found the “mother’s intuition” I had been
hearing about since I was a kid. It is Heavenly Father’s revelation to me, the
mother of one of His precious children, whom He had sent to me to raise, care
for, and love for him. Of course, He is not going to leave us alone with this celestial
calling. As my children grow older and I am trying to figure out what to say,
do, and sometimes even cook; I think about that experience, and get on my knees
to ask for His help. The answer always comes. Sometimes it is as simple as “hug
your child”, “take a nap”, or “feed them”.
Sometimes they are harder things such as “be kind”, “don’t yell”, or “be
humble”. I know that we are entitled to His guidance in this calling. I have
received many revelations while I was serving in His church fulfilling one of
His callings, so why wouldn’t He give us revelation for the greatest and most
challenging calling of all? I am grateful for this knowledge and for His help.
As I see my 18-month old daughter play with her dolls and do exactly as I do to
her, I hope she eventually knows that she is not alone in the journey of
motherhood.
